I’ve been doing a lot of songs recently, some of which are cool and some of which are half-ideas that could be cooler. This is the latter.
Why though? I think I’ve gone through little trends of what I do on here, and right now music seems to be the easiest expression for me that isn’t totally lazy at the same time. Music’s a funny way of representing an idea or a thought or a feeling I find, especially when there aren’t lyrics involved. Certain projects such as today’s and yesterday’s come from inability to think through ideas properly, and so these random thoughts get translated into small half-ideas such as this. Sometimes a feeling is so distinct and so potent that it expressed very clearly, such as the projects "Fragility" (which came out of a lot of anger and frustration and disappointment) and "Content and at Peace" (which came out of sadness). Particular tracks such as "Ying Yang" and "Mannequin" are distinct due to being musical representations of particular memories.
But maybe it’s time to retire from the music a little bit… I say that, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I jumped back at it tomorrow. Still, I feel like unless I achieve successes such as Fragility, Ying Yang and Mannequin, these songs are only half of what they could be. I’d like to attempt to write a full song in a day. I mean, I have, and to quite some success with "Red Dance on a Yellow Sun" (and I think a few others), but I’d like to write a song in the same style as my soundtrack stuff that actually goes a few different places. It’d be cool to write a full piano piece that’s not small like this.
But anyhow, here’s half an idea and a tired mind. It’s been a long weekend, I’m underslept, a little on the hungover side and I’ve got to be up at 4AM tomorrow, so this was a bit of an effort. But hey, because I’m worth it…
" No, fuck you. I was worth it. "
" Breathe. It’s only a bad day, not a bad life. "
" I really do miss what we almost had. "
" A thought is a hard thing to control. "